My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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