I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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