Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
