Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
