the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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