Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You ruined the universe
Such a big mess for such a small penis
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
