addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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