I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
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I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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