I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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