yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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