I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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