Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
