im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize