im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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