My cat gives me a boner
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
