So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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