I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
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