Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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