Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
