So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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