im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
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Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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