yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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