i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
