i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
