Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The uberlube is also flammable
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
