Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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