she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
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Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
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Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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