super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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