I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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