Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My bed smells like the plague
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
