We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
