Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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