I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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