yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
