That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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