I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize