i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
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