i need an iv and a liver transplant
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize