sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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