like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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