I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
