apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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