P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize