just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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