It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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