Don't make out with my wife yet
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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