She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
no, he came in my armpit
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
