What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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