Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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