It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
