Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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