i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
