that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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