hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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