never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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