so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
