There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
