after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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