I think I am morally bankrupt
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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